The first thing I want to talk about is the fact that Eric worked today. Yes, he arrived Tuesday afternoon, his stuff arrived Wednesday night (it was picked up here on the 10th and shipped across the country in just 7 days!). He got a job on Wednesday and started work today.
Now, don’t get too excited. In Eric’s line of work it really doesn’t mean a thing. He could get laid off tomorrow. It’s not like you can count on a job, or know for sure that you’ll have it for an extended period of time. You can’t count on anything. You just have to take it day by day. I was just so proud of him, because he found work immediately!
I thought about him as soon as the alarm went off, and I wondered how he was doing at work (since it was already 9:00am there). I drove myself to work this morning, because I had therapy tonight after work. I don’t mind the drive at all – it’s less than 15 minutes door to door.
I had told Eric that I would call him at 9:00am my time, when he goes to lunch at noon. Unfortunately, it was SO busy and I just completely forgot. I had only been at work for an hour and the time flew by so quickly. I just didn’t think it was time yet. Then, Eric called me at 9:20am my time – while he was at lunch. He wasn’t doing very well. He was missing me, and he wasn’t feeling great, and he was just very down.
It upset me terribly and affected the rest of my day. I was distracted and kept making stupid mistakes. It’s a good thing my co-worker checks everything, before I send it, because I had mistakes in every single email! I apologized and she just blew it off and said, “Don’t worry. I’ve done the same thing!” She’s so sweet and I really appreciate her understanding. She knows Eric is in NY and knows it’s been very hard for me. I am SO lucky to have this job. If not for this job, I don’t know where I’d be or what I’d do. I am so comfortable at this place, after being there over 7 months, so at times like today – when I’m upset and anxious – I know it will be okay.
At noon I went down to HR. I’m being taught many different HR procedures, and today I got more training. This will go on for the next 3 weeks, until both girls are on sabbatical and I’m hoping by then I’ll be in HR full time. It’s not that I don’t like it upstairs – I definitely do. It’s just that I’d rather be in one place for 8 hours a day and if I had to choose, it would definitely be HR. The work is just so interesting there. It’s all about people!
I left the office a little before 5:00pm and drove to my appointment. It was really great to talk to her and she gave me great ideas and good advice. She’s really interested in helping ME now, rather than Eric. When Eric was here, the therapy was really all about him, because of course he’s very depressed and needed more help. Now, she’s happy she can focus on me and I’m happy, because I need the help, too!
I told her that I feel like I should be exercising, or taking a yoga class and she rolled her eyes and said I’m being too hard on myself. She said, “I can’t believe what you’re going through right now and you’re beating yourself up for not exercising?” I told her I knew it would be good for me, but she just waved her hand and said, “You do whatever makes you feel good. Just be easy on yourself.”
She always says I’m too hard on myself and I worry too much. She makes me feel good about myself, because she says I’m strong and that I’m holding it together for the both of us – and it’s a big strain, believe me. So, I guess I’m going to relax a little and just “be” for a little while.
I did ask Elsa if she could go to DREAMGIRLS on Saturday night, but she couldn’t make it, so I asked another girl at work and she was very excited. So, it looks like I have a date! I’m so happy, because she’s a lot of fun and I really like her. She doesn’t know that Eric is away, but I guess it may come out on Saturday night. I don’t mind telling people, I just don’t want them to feel sorry for me, or think that my marriage is in trouble, because it’s not. Eric just needs to get healthy and we’ll be together again.
When I got home, I called him up and we had a great conversation. He was feeling better and was more positive. I told him how proud I was of him for getting a job so quickly, and I told him he has to give it time and everything will fall into place. He misses me, and I miss him, and that’s okay, because we will be reunited soon enough.
It’s only 8 weeks until Jessica and Ken’s wedding and we’ll be together for almost 2 weeks, including Thanksgiving at my sister’s house, which we’re really looking forward to.
I think if Eric can just take it day by day, getting stronger and healthier, he will be his old self – or better – before you know it! He just has to get back on that bicycle, hit the mountains and ride. That’s what always made him happy, and I know it will happen again. Of course, working is the next best thing, because he’ll get into a routine, feel like he’s making a contribution, earn money, and maybe even make some friends. But even if this job ends, I’m sure he’ll find another. He’s a great worker and any company that he works for is lucky to have him!
Before I close, I must tell you that our building manager and his wife just had a baby and I got to see her tonight. She's absolutely gorgeous. It's such a miracle when you see a new baby -- just 2 days old. I told them I'm available for babysitting and I think they may just take me up on it! The only problem is -- they'd have to bring the baby here (okay, it's only about 100 feet from their door to mine), because they have 2 cats and I'm allergic. But I'd be happy to babysit anytime they like. I think it would be so much fun!