Vote for Stacie (the Top 10 will be decided this Friday!!!): MY GRAMMY MOMENT.
I went to bed extraordinarily late last night (almost 3:00am) and when the alarm went off at 9:00am I was having a glorious dream that Eric was kissing me. It was so sweet! I called him, told him I was half asleep, told him about my dream, and hung up to go try to continue it.
Of course that didn’t work. I couldn’t fall back to sleep and then my wheels started turning. Oh, my wheels. They spin and spin and I think and think and go off on tangents and come back and find something new to spin on and on about. Does anyone else have those thoughts – either at night (preventing you from falling asleep) or in the morning (preventing you from going BACK to sleep)?
My wheels turned towards AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL. I was watching an episode last night at around 2:00am. They have a marathon every Sunday on OXYGEN and show an entire season in one day. I sometimes record it and then see which cycle it is and delete the entire thing, but there are some cycles that are particularly worth re-watching. There are even some cycles that, for some reason, I’ve never seen, or I’ve just missed certain episodes.
Cycle six was the one shown yesterday. (Tyra refers to them as “cycles,” rather than “seasons.”) This cycle had Jade, a woman so full of herself, so over-confident, so in-your-face competitive, that you hate yourself for even watching her, but you can’t help yourself, because you just have to know how it’s going to turn out. The good news is – she makes it to the final 3 and is then eliminated. Nothing like seeing someone get their due!
Anyway, I started thinking about myself and how I would act if I was on ANTM (yeah, maybe in my NEXT life). I would be one of the girls in the house who was supportive, who helped the other girls, who tried to give them confidence. There ARE those girls. You do see girls with a heart, who care about others. They want to win, but they don’t want to see others beaten down in the process. Why is it that some people can only feel good about themselves by making others feel bad about themselves?
I realize I have always been the type that wants everyone to succeed, maybe sometimes to my detriment. It's not that I don't want to win, or do well, it's just that I want EVERYONE to do well and I want to be the best! A perfect example is when I was on WHEEL OF FORTUNE, way back in April of 1988. It was the daytime show, and if you won that day you got to compete the next day, too. In reality, “the next day” was about a half hour later, after you had a chance to change your clothes and they figured out who you were competing against next.
There was a lovely woman named Debbie who was competing against me in the second show. I ran into her in the bathroom, and in her cute southern accent she said something like, “I’m on the next show with you, but you solved every puzzle and I’m so scared.” And me, in my usual supportive manner, said, “If I can do it, YOU can do it!”
And guess what? She did! Oh, I solved the first puzzle, but I’m pretty sure she solved every puzzle after that. And SHE won a car!!!! There wasn’t a car available (long story) in the first show I filmed, but there WAS a truck in the second show and instead of ME winning it, SHE did! I wasn’t bitter. Oh, I wanted to win – believe me. It has always bothered me that I didn’t win a car for Eric, but I had a fantastic time. To this day it was one of the greatest adventures of my life. I went home with my head held high, because I had not only won the first day, but it was a “clean sweep,” because I won every single puzzle on the first day. You don’t see that very often in ANY competition! I also won over $13,000 in fabulous prizes!!!!
Another example of my non-competitive nature is the fact that when I used to audition for shows in NY, I would often help other girls with choreography. The procedure at most auditions is that they would teach you a fast routine, then call in a group of girls and have them dance, weed out the best, and call the next group, and so on and so forth.
While we were all waiting outside, we would of course be practicing and there were always some who couldn’t pick up the choreography, or weren’t sure how to do a specific step. I was the one who always helped them. I would sometimes get a group of girls behind me and I’d do the routine over and over until they got it. I’m not saying I ALWAYS got the steps myself, and sometimes there wouldn’t be anyone to help ME when I was floundering, but if I could help someone else, I would.
I remember once a girl asking me why I was helping and teaching, when one of those girls might get the job instead of me. I just said, “The director is looking for a specific type. I’m either it, or I’m not. I believe we should all do our best and may the best man win.” I have always been a big believer in fate. If I didn’t get it, it was for a reason. I never really dwelled on a lost role or part, there was always another audition right around the corner.
Well, I never “made it.” For me, making it would have been performing on Broadway. THAT was my dream when I was performing in High School, College, and was always my goal. I never wanted a recording contract or dreamed of going on tour in a concert. I never wanted to star in a movie, or on TV. I just wanted to be on a Broadway stage, making people laugh (or cry) and feeling the energy that you get from an audience.
I DID do that for many, many years, Off-Broadway, Off-off-Broadway, in regional theatre, summer stock, community theatre, and in nightclubs and cabarets around Manhattan. I had so many great experiences, but maybe I never made it to Broadway because I didn’t have the “killer instinct.” That’s not to say that you have to be a bitch (or a bastard) to make it, but maybe what some people lack in talent they make up for with determination, drive, ambition and a competitive nature.
I know there are some Broadway stars who are the nicest people in the world. A great example is Greg Jbara (currently starring in BILLY ELLIOT), who I know would help anyone he could in any way possible. He actually won an award as the “Nicest guy on Broadway,” or something like that. His talent made it unnecessary for him to tear others down, or step on people as he climbed the ladder to success. He had the talent.
I know I’m talented and I always had a lot of confidence, but maybe I didn’t have enough talent to make it without clawing my way to the top. The problem is, I don’t have it in me to do that. So, here I am, 51 and still wishing someone would offer me a part on Broadway. Even in the chorus. I don’t even dance or sing anymore, but I’d still like it to happen. Hey, I can dream, can’t I?
On to my day today! I was working on a crazy project. Let me tell you about it. Have you ever seen those tissue boxes that Kleenex makes that are fancy ovals with great patterns, instead of squares? The first time I ever saw them was at my sister’s house in New Paltz. I made such a fuss over them that she bought me a couple of boxes for the RV.
I kept buying them when we got to San Diego, and I saved each and every one, because I thought they were such a pretty shape and the patterns were so nice and I wanted to try to do something with them—you know: reduce, reuse, recycle!
The other day I found them in a high cabinet in the kitchen. I hadn’t bought any in a while and I completely forgot about them. I had 28 and ended up using 25 of them to make the legs of a table. It’s very unusual looking and very pretty, and I thought it would be great for a kid’s room. I don’t have the table top yet, but at least I have the legs!
So, I decided all I had to do was put them in a pretty pattern and then hot glue the boxes together, but they’re so light that they weren’t very stable. They’re hollow when there are no tissues inside, so I decided that I needed to put something with weight in the bottom boxes, so that they would be more stable and wouldn’t fall over.
I didn’t want to spend any money, so I decided I should use sand – from the beach. I told Jimmy and he told me it’s against the law to take sand. It makes sense, because I guess everyone would be filling up their sand boxes with beach sand, so I do understand, but – hey – all I needed was a big ziplock bag, so I went ahead and did it!
Here's a picture I took today at Mission Bay:
I drove the car down to Mission Bay and put a big zip-lock bag in my backpack. I walked along until I found some nice, clean, dry sand and I filled the bag up. Then, I put it in my backpack and walked about a mile—back and forth to the car. I texted Jimmy with the message “I’m a sand stealer!” and went to STARBUCKS.
I had really felt the weight on my back and when I got home I weighed myself without and with the bag and realized it was 7 pounds. I divided the sand into five smaller zip-lock bags and put a bag in the bottom box of each leg (there are five legs, which kind of make the petals of a flower, if you can picture it). Then, I hot-glued five boxes together to make each leg. I haven’t yet glued all the legs together, because I think I should wait until I have the tabletop. I was going to use a round tray I have, but it’s not big enough.
It looks like some of the patterns are right next to each other, but it is just an illusion in the photograph. I made sure they're all staggered and no two of the same pattern are next to each other on any of the legs.
After I finished that project I decided to watch some TV and maybe take a nap before yoga, but my nose started to run and run and run and then run somemore. I was blowing, and blowing, and blowing. My allergies have been pretty good the last couple of days, so I really didn’t understand it, but it made me feel so sick.
I finally fell asleep at 5:30pm and woke up at 6:30pm but didn’t feel like going to yoga. I was afraid my nose would start running during class (it’s done that before, and it’s very uncomfortable), and I felt very groggy. I knew I could take a pill to “dry me up” but it would either make me speed (not good for serenity yoga), or make me drowsy (not good either). So, I just decided to skip yoga this week. I just paid for 10 more classes, so I really do have to make sure I go every week, because I’m really only planning to be here around 10 more weeks!
When I woke up I didn’t feel hungry, but I was thirsty, so I heated up a mug of organic vegetable broth and just drank that while I voted for Stacie on the computer. Then at 8:30pm my phone rang. It was Kaja, my friend in NY who lives in a nursing home and just turned 95. She was still up at 11:30pm. We talked for over an hour – and the whole time I was talking, I was voting for Stacie! It’s becoming so natural for me that I can do it without even thinking! Anyway, Kaja told me that she was just moved into a nicer, bigger, private room and that she is still unpacking.
She told me all about her 95th birthday (January 16th) and how she got 50 cards, 8 bouquets of flowers, and phone calls from Switzerland, Canada, Norway (she’s Norwegian), and all over the United States (including me from San Diego, but I never got hold of her, because she had FOUR parties that day!).
She told me a story about a couple her parents knew in San Diego and told me I should get in touch with their son, who is a doctor here. I took his number and promised her I would!
Kaja is magnificent! Here she is – 95 years old – and she’s up at 11:30pm and thinks to call ME and fill me in on everything going on in her life. I simply adore her. She asked about Eric and was so happy to hear that he is doing so well and she can’t wait for me to come back to NY in the spring.
I promised we would take her out to lunch at a diner nearby (in Melville), which is her favorite place to eat. She told me that someone took her to the Miller Ridge Inn for her birthday, which is a very fancy place, and she said it was very expensive, but she told me she’d prefer the diner! She’s so cute!
Anyway, when I finally hung up I just started blogging, because I had so much to write about today, and then I watched THE BIGGEST LOSER. Very intense, as usual!
Tomorrow I am meeting Elsa for lunch and she will give me the rest of the pictures and memorabilia that I will use to create an art piece for her and Stephen that will always remind them of their 2008 trip to Europe! I am very excited to get started on that!